Over the last couple years, I’ve started putting my Exception messages inside static methods on custom exception classes. This is hardly a new trick, Doctrine’s been doing it for the better part of a decade. Still, many folks are surprised by it, so this article explains the how and why.

How does it work?

Let’s say you’re writing a large CSV import and you stumble across an invalid row, perhaps it’s missing a column. Your code might look like this:

if (!$row->hasColumns($expectedColumns)) {
    throw new Exception("Row is missing one or more columns");

This works in terms of stopping the program but it’s not very flexible for the developer. We can improve this is creating a custom exception class.

class InvalidRowException extends \Exception

Now we throw our custom Exception instead:

if (!$row->hasColumns($expectedColumns)) {
    throw new InvalidRowException("Row is missing one or more columns");

This might look like boilerplate but it allows higher level code to recognize which error was raised and handle it accordingly. For example, we might stop the entire program on a NoDatabaseConnectionException but only log an InvalidRowException before continuing.

Still, the error message isn’t very helpful from a debugging perspective. Which row failed? It would be better if we always included the row number in our error message.

if (!$row->hasColumns($expectedColumns)) {
    throw new InvalidRowException(
        "Row #" . $row->getIndex() . " is missing one or more columns"

That’s better in the log but now the formatting on this one little message is getting a bit noisy and distracting. There’s no upper bound on this complexity: as the log message gets complex, the code will get uglier. Not to mention, there are multiple reasons we might throw an InvalidRowException but we’d need to format them all to include the row number. Booorrrriiing.

Moving the Formatting

We can remove the noise by pushing the formatting into the custom Exception class. The best way to do this is with a static factory:

class InvalidRowException extends \Exception
    public static function incorrectColumns(Row $row) {
        return new static("Row #" . $row->getIndex() . " is missing one or more columns");

And now we can clean up the importing code without losing readability:

if (!$row->hasColumns($expectedColumns)) {
    throw InvalidRowException::incorrectColumns($row);

The only extra code is the function block surrounding our message. That function block isn’t just noise though: it allows us to typehint and document what needs to be passed to generate a nicely formatted message. And if those requirements ever change, we can use static analysis tools to refactor those specific use cases.

This also frees us from the mental constraints of the space available. We’re not bound to writing code that fits into a single if clause, we have a whole method to do whatever makes sense.

Maybe common errors warrant more complex output, like including both the expected and the received list of columns.

public static function incorrectColumns(Row $row, $expectedColumns)
    $expectedList = implode(', ', $expectedColumns);
    $receivedList = implode(', ', $row->getColumns());

    return new static(
        "Row #" . $row->getIndex() . " did not contain the expected columns. " .
        " Expected columns: " . $expectedList .
        " Received columns: " . $receivedList

The code here got significantly richer but the consuming code only needed to pass one extra parameter.

if (!$row->hasColumns($expectedColumns)) {
    throw InvalidRowException::incorrectColumns($row, $expectedColumns);

That’s easy to consume, especially when throwing it in multiple locations. It’s the type of error messages everyone wants to read but rarely take the time to write. If it’s an important enough part of your Developer Experience, you can even unit test that the exception message contains the missing column names. Bonus points if you array_diff/array_intersect to show the actual unexpected columns.

Again, that might seem like overkill and I wouldn’t recommend gold plating every error scenario to this extent. Still, if this is code you really want to own and you can anticipate the common fix for these errors, spending 1 extra minute to write a solid error message will pay big in debugging dividends.

Multiple Use Cases

So far we’ve created a method for one specific use case, an incorrect number of columns.

Maybe we have other issues with our CSV file, like the existence of blank lines. Let’s add a second method to our exception:

class InvalidRowException extends \Exception
    // ... incorrectColumns ...

    public static function blankLine($rowNumber)
        return new static("Row #$rowNumber was a blank line.");

Again, a bit of boilerplate but we get extra space to write more detailed messages. If the same issue keeps occurring, perhaps it’s worth adding some extra details, links or issue numbers (or you know, fixing it more permanently).

public static function blankLine($rowNumber)
    return new static(
        "Row #$rowNumber was a blank line. This can happen if the user " .
        "exported the source file with incorrect line endings."

Locking It Down

When you’re creating “named constructors” for domain objects, you use a similar technique but also declare the original constructor as private. I don’t do this with exceptions though.

First off, we can’t in PHP. Exceptions all extend from a parent Exception class and can’t change their parent’s __construct access level from public to private.

More importantly, there’s little benefit for Exceptions. With domain objects, we do this to capture the ubiquitous language and prevent users from instantiating the object in an invalid state. But with an exception, there’s very little state to keep valid. Furthermore, we’re inherently dealing with exceptional circumstances: we can’t foresee every reason a user might throw an exception.

So, the best you can do is create a base factory that you recommend other folks use when creating their exceptions. This can typehint for useful things commonly included in the message:

class InvalidRowException extends \Exception
    // One off error messages can use this method...
    public static function create(Row $row, $reason)
        return new static("Row " . $row->getIndex() . " is invalid because: " . $reason);

    // ...and predefined methods can use it internally.
    public static function blankLine(Row $row)
        return static::create($row, "Is a blank line.");

Which might be useful but is probably pretty far out there. I haven’t seen a convenient way to enforce it though.

The Big Picture

There’s one final benefit I’d like to touch on.

Normally, when you write your exception messages inline, the various error cases might be split across different files. This makes it harder to see the reasons you’re raising them, which is a shame since exception types are an important part of your API.

When you co-locate the messages inside the exception, however, you gain an overview of the error cases. If these cases multiply too fast or diverge significantly, it’s a strong smell to split the exception class and create a better API.

// One of these isn’t like the others and should probably be a different Exception class
class InvalidRowException extends \Exception
    public static function missingColumns(Row $row, $expectedColumns);
    public static function blankLine(Row $row);
    public static function invalidFileHandle($fh);

Sometimes we underestimate the little things that shape our code. We’d like to pretend that we’re not motivated by getting our error messages neatly on one line or that we regularly do a “Find Usages” to see our custom exception messages, but the truth is: these little details matter. Creating good environments at a high level starts with encouraging them at the lowest levels. Pay attention to what your habits encourage you to do.

Recently, a few folks asked about a trait in a new project I wrote. Right around the same time, Rafael Dohms showed me his new talk about complex cognitive processes we don’t notice. Because my brain is a big mushy sack, the two blended together. The result was this post, which tries to capture how I use traits but also how I decide to use them in the first place.

Leverage vs Abstraction

The first thing you should do is go read this blog post: “Abstraction or Leverage” from Michael Nygard. It’s an excellent article.

If you’re short on time, the relevant part is that chunks of code (functions, classes, methods, etc) can be split out for either abstraction or leverage. The difference is:

  • Abstraction gathers similar code behind a higher level concept that’s more concise for other code to work with.
  • Leverage gathers similar code together so you only have one place to change it.

A common abstraction would be a Repository: you don’t know how an object is being stored or where but you don’t care. The details are behind the concept of a Repository.

Common leverage would be something like your framework’s Controller base class. It doesn’t hide much, it just adds some nifty shortcuts that are easier to work with.

As the original blogpost points out, both abstraction and leverage are good. Abstraction is slightly better because it always gives you leverage but leverage doesn’t give you abstraction. However, I would add that a good abstraction is more expensive to produce and isn’t possible at every level. So, it’s a trade off.

What’s this have to do with traits?

Some language features are better than others at producing either Leverage or Abstraction. Interfaces, for example, are great at helping us build and enforce abstractions.

Inheritance, on the other hand, is great at providing leverage. It lets us override select parts of the parent code without having to copy it or extract every method to a reusable (but not necessarily abstracted) class. So, to answer the original question, when do I use traits?

I use traits when I want leverage, not abstraction.



Benjamin Eberlei makes a good argument that traits have basically the same problems as static access. You can’t exchange or override them and they’re lousy for testing.

Still, static methods are useful. If you’ve got a single function with no state and you wouldn’t want to exchange it for another implementation, there’s nothing wrong with a static method. Think about named constructors (you rarely want to mock your domain models) or array/math operations (well defined input/output, stateless, deterministic). It makes you wonder if static state, rather than methods, are the real evil.

Traits have roughly the same constraints, plus they can only be used when mixed into a class. They’re more macro than object.

This does gives traits an extra feature though: they can read and write the internal state of the class they’re mixed into. This makes them more suitable for some behavior than a static method would be.

An example I often use is generating domain events on an entity:

trait GeneratesDomainEvents
    private $events = [];

    protected function raise(DomainEvent $event)
        $this->events[] = $event;

    public function releaseEvents()
        $pendingEvents = $this->events;
        $this->events = [];
        return $pendingEvents;

While we can refactor this to an abstraction, it’s still a nice example of how a trait can work with local object state in a way static methods can’t. We don’t want to expose the events array blindly or place it outside the object. We might not want to force another abstraction inside our model but we certainly don’t want to copy and paste this boiler plate everywhere. Plain as they are, traits help us sidestep these issues.

Other practical examples might be custom logging functions that dump several properties at once or common iteration/searching logic. Admittedly, we could solve these with a parent class but we’ll talk about that in a moment.

So traits are a solid fit here but that doesn’t make static methods useless. In fact, I prefer static methods for behavior that doesn’t need the object’s internal state since it’s always safer to not provide it. Static methods are also more sharply defined and don’t require a mock class to be tested.

Assertions are a good example of where I prefer static methods, despite seeing them commonly placed in traits. Still, I find Assertion::positiveNumber($int) gives me the aforementioned benefits and it’s easier to understand what it is (or isn’t) doing to the calling class.

If you do have an assertion you’re tempted to turn into a trait, I’d treat it as a code smell. Perhaps it needs several parameters you’re tired of giving it. Perhaps validating $this->foo relies on the value of $this->bar. In either of these cases, refactoring to a value object can be a better alternative. Remember, it’s best if leverage eventually gives way to abstraction.

So, to restate: I use traits when I want leverage that needs access to an object’s internal state.

Parent Classes

Everything we’ve seen is also possible through inheritance. An EventGeneratingEntity would arguably be even better since the events array would be truly private. However, traits offer the possibility of multiple inheritance instead of a single base class. Aside from their feature set, is there a good heuristic for choosing?

All things being equal, I like to fallback on something akin to the “Is-A vs Has-A” rule. It’s not an exact fit because traits are not composition but it’s a reasonable guideline.

In other words, use parent classes for functionality that’s intrinsic to what the object is. A parent class is good at communicating this to other developers: “Employee is a Person”. Just because we’re going for leverage doesn’t mean the code shouldn’t be communicative.

For other non-core functionality on an object (fancy logging, event generation, boiler-plate code, etc), then a trait is an appropriate tool. It doesn’t define the nature of the class, it’s a supporting feature or better yet, an implementation detail. Whatever you get from a trait is just in service of the main object’s goal: traits can’t even pass a type check, that’s how unimportant they are.

So, in the case of the event generation, I prefer the trait to a base EventGeneratingEntity because Event Generation is a supporting feature.


I rarely (if ever) extend a class or create a trait without also creating an interface.

If you follow this rule closely, you’ll find that traits can complement the Interface Segregation Principle well. It’s easy to define an interface for a secondary concern and then ship a trait with a simple default implementation.

This allows the concrete class to implement its own version of the interface or stick with the trait’s default version for unimportant cases. When your choices are boilerplate or forcing a poor abstraction, traits can be a powerful ally.

Still, if you’ve only got one class implementing the interface in your code and you don’t expect anyone else to use that implementation, don’t bother with a trait. You’re probably not making your code any more maintainable or readable.

When I do not use traits

To be quite honest, I don’t use traits very often, perhaps once every few months. The heuristic I’ve outlined (leverage requiring access to internal state) is extremely niche. If you’re running into it very often, you probably need to step back and reexamine your style of programming. There’s a good chance you’ve got tons of objects waiting to be extracted.

There’s a few places I don’t like to use traits due to style preferences:

  • If the code you’re sharing is just a couple of getters and setters, I wouldn’t bother. IDEs can be your leverage here and adding a trait will only add mental overhead.
  • Don’t use traits for dependency injection. That’s less to do with traits themselves and more to do with setter injection, which I’m rather opposed to.
  • I don’t like traits for mixing in large public APIs or big pieces of functionality. Skip the leverage step and moving directly to finding an abstraction.

Finally, remember that while traits do not offer abstraction and they are not composition, they can still have a place in your toolbox. They’re useful for providing leverage over small default implementations or duplicate code. Always be ready to refactor them to a better abstraction once the code smells pile up.

I started this month by speaking or hosting at 4 events in 2 countries over 5 days (DrupalCon Amsterdam, DomCode, ZgPHP, WebCamp). While hectic, it was a great way to see a cross section of the community back-to-back. So, I’d like to talk about the events in turn but also some meta-topics about conferences themselves.


This was one of the biggest conferences I’ve been to, and definitely the slickest, most well produced. Huge stages, a giant conference center, a “pre-note” with zebra pattern suits and super heroes. The conference had a good sense of humor about itself but the ambition was evident. Drupal is Big(tm) and they know it.

From a tech and community perspective, it’s an interesting position. On the one hand, Drupal began life as a open-source project but now has a massive commercial side (check out the sponsors hall). The keynote discussed Drupal as becoming a Public Good, citing Paul Samuelson’s work and outlining a 3 step lifecycle in this process: Volunteers → Business → Government. The fact the keynote began with a sponsored doppelganger act was a tacit admission of where Drupal currently stands in this process.

This isn’t necessarily bad. I have little knowledge of Drupal but my impression is the commercial interest helps drive an increasing “professionalization” of the developers and tooling. Rolling out best practices and applying general engineering principles to Drupal is a great step forward. Make no mistake, they are tackling genuinely hard problems.

Perhaps for this reason, Drupal is also trying to reconnect to the PHP community at large. This is also a hugely positive (and arguably necessary) move to bring in some of those professional dev practices. At the same time, the feedback I received for my talk on the general PHP track was different enough from other conferences to remind that it is a separate audience, at least for now.

Still, the question on everyone’s mind was “How do we keep hobbyist developers?” I interpreted this as: “Has the re-engineering of Drupal made it so complex that only experienced pro developers can reasonably work with it and was it worth the additional complexity?” To that: I don’t know. I don’t know the code. A well engineered codebase should be less complex but using it may require you to sideload a lot of knowledge (i.e. indirect complexity). That’s possibly a culture or documentation issue, not a technical one.

Some of the articles in the Drupal magazine I found in my swag bag questioned if this was even an issue. Perhaps the natural evolution of Drupal is a focus on high-end, high-traffic CMS sites. Perhaps not.

Either way, it was a great conference. Drupal is juggernaut and here to stay. I don’t know where the road will take them but they’re trying to head in the right direction, even when it’s uphill. Much respect.


Two days later, and I was presenting at ZgPHP in Zagreb, Croatia (my first trip to the region). The difference was intense.

ZgPHP is a local user group in Zagreb and this was their second annual conference but their first in English. As such, it’s a much smaller event: Total attendees were around 80, though the number waxed and waned throughout the day.

One of the great things about this conference though is the price: it’s completely free to attend. Like DrupalCon, ZgPHP is also worried about the hobbyists and the lone cowboy coders and the tiny dev shops. So, their response is to lower the barrier to obtaining pro-level knowledge, at least as much as possible and free tickets are a great step to do that in a country where the unemployment rate is a crushing 20%. They can’t reach everyone with this tactic but it’s certainly not for lack of trying.

To be fair, that comes with certain tradeoffs: The venue was donated by the local Chamber of Commerce. There was no catering staff and lunch was local pastries with 2 liter bottles of Coke. My badge was an oversized sticker with my name and twitter handle written on it in marker. (When I returned to the hotel, I peeled the sticker off carefully and cut up toilet paper with shaving scissors then stuck to the back so I could bring it home for my badge collection).

So, yes, it’s a small conference but by design. It was well run, well organized and a really nice community.

Croatia isn’t a huge country (4.23 million people, slightly less than Kentucky). Nonetheless, there’s multiple user groups and even another annual conference. That’s some great hustle. By and large, the conversations I had were the same as anywhere else: HHVM and REST APIs, unit testing and decoupling. I was the only speaker not from the region, which made me nervous but folks laughed at my jokes and left nice joind.in reviews. It was a good crowd and I had fun.


Two days later and I was at another conference in Zagreb: WebCamp. Rather than focus on any specific language or tool, WebCamp is about, well, the web.

It’s also massive. And free. Like ZgPHP, WebCamp is totally free to attend. All you had to do is register for one of the 1100+ free tickets on their website, which lasted less than a day. Of course, as with any free ticket, there were a lot of no-shows but around 800 people attended on the first day. True, that’s smaller than DrupalCon but 800 people is significantly larger than almost any PHP conference out there.

Still, a conference of this scale has bills, so attendees could buy a supporter pack (~40 euros?), which came with a t-shirt and some other goodies. Lots of sponsors chipped in and they received perks like evening stands and an hour-long recruitment session on the first day.

WebCamp was a joint effort by several local user groups: PHP, Ruby, Python, JS, you name it. In fact, WebCamp and ZgPHP were part of a whole initiative called “Week of WebCamp” where there were several smaller conferences and workshops throughout the city of Zagreb.

It’s an ambitious undertaking which culminated in WebCamp itself. I’m don’t know if any of the individual groups could’ve pulled this together individually but together, they made it work really well. I saw talks on everything from Elixir to Gearman to data aggregation.

For my part, I was asked to do the opening keynote, which was an enormous honor but the size made it intimidating. Still, the crowd laughed and had fun and even I was reasonably pleased with the result. They also asked me to host one of the tracks which meant a crash course in pronouncing Crotian names (final score: D+).

I’m a huge fan of multi-technology events and also the free-to-attend model but they’re hard to get right. Watching someone pull off a 2-day, dual-track, 800 person conference in those formats plus the additional events throughout the week was amazing. Yes, nothing is perfect but it was absolutely a success.

I’m not an “Everything is awesome”, “Community Works” cheerleader sort of fellow. Still, WebCamp in action was inspiring and leaves me wondering if it’s a taste of things to come: a free-to-attend, multi-community event supported by donations and sponsors.


I had a great time at all of the events and would highly recommend any of them (I skipped over DomCode as I’m one of the founders but would highly recommend it as well)!

Still, I left with a lot of questions. Everywhere I went, people mentioned hobbyist or junior developers. How do we reach them? How do we attract them? What do we teach them? This is especially true in the PHP community where there’s a huge variation in knowledge level.

It also left me wondering about the role of those teaching. Are free-to-attend events more open? Doesn’t that leave us more dependent on our sponsors? Should our conferences be more cost-effective affairs or can we teach more effectively when we go all out? Is commercial backing driving knowledge or impeding it? How can we encourage the right attitude in our partners? Who are we really targeting with technical conferences? Is turning teaching into a commercial interest an acceptable path for an open source community? What are the role of speakers in this?

Each of these events brings a different model to the table. Is there a right one? Well, the fact that all of them are successful in different ways says probably not. I loved the variety of speakers plus the pomp and circumstance of DrupalCon but you probably couldn’t pull that off on a ZgPHP budget. At the same time, I felt like I could take more specific questions and help people more deeply at ZgPHP precisely because it so direct. There are things you can do with one model that you can’t necessarily do with another. I suppose we need different events pushing different models to catch the widest possible subset of the community, though I wish we could do better.

One amazing thing was that all of these conferences were recording their talks to publish them on the web for free. My DrupalCon talk was online less than 2 hours after I gave it, which is bonkers. Perhaps the web-based model is the real future here, though as long as there’s a hallway track and a social to network at, there will be value in attending conferences. Which just leaves one question an event to consider: who are we trying to bring in and how do we get them there?

Many thanks to Igor Wiedler for proofreading an earlier version of this article

Earlier this evening, I was a guest on NoCapes, a new web series about sharing advice and encouraging folks to engage in the PHP community. It’s a great initiative, you should check it out. There’s also a video of my interview up as well.

But as we begin The Autumn of a Thousand Conferences, I thought I’d follow up by taking a moment and write up some tips on speaking. Bear in mind, I only began a couple years ago so this is just what works for me. I try to focus on the more practical and less glamorous bits of the speaking experience so you know what to expect.

Ultimately, the #1 rule is this: speakers are the same as any other type of performer. It isn’t about talent, it isn’t about luck, it’s about work and practice. So, don’t beat yourself up if you’re not amazing at first and don’t expect to be well respected until you pay your dues.

I would also ask yourself what is more important. Personally, I’d rather be known for being a good engineer than a great speaker. That said, speaking has helped me make some amazing friends and grown my career considerably. You can (and probably should) try it as well.

Getting Accepted

  • It’s cliché but start off small: user groups, local meetups, etc. When submitting to a bigger conference, mention your experience. Include links to joind.in, reviews, etc.
  • Just like any type of writing, you’re going to get rejected. A lot. Even when you’ve got some talks under your belt, you’re still going to get rejected on a regular basis.
  • If you have no recorded experience, a 2 minute demo of you covering a small topic can make a huge difference. Many conferences are trying to add new speakers but they’re also risk adverse, so show that you know your stuff.
  • If you’re submitting to a conference that requires traveling, always submit multiple talks (at least 3, maybe more). If they’re going to pay for a flight and hotel, they’re probably going to want 2 or more talks from you.
  • If you’re attending a conference you’d like to speak at, rock it hard at the uncon and then tell the organizers you’re going to submit next year. They’ll remember you. Some conferences even give away guaranteed speaker slots to the best uncon speakers of the year.
  • It’s perfectly okay to submit talks you haven’t written yet, provided you have time to write them. Shoot in a few ideas and let the organizers sort out which ones are good. Likewise, don’t be afraid to reuse talks at other conferences.
  • It’s okay to pick subjects you need to do further research into. In fact, it’s often a great motivator to do so. Just don’t pick subjects you know absolutely zero about, people expect some experience or credentials from their speakers (unless your talk is “How I Stumbled Through Putting X into Production” which is also valid as an intro tutorial).
  • Sad to say but it’s still often about who you know. Find out who the influential speakers or groups in your area are and go out of your way to meet them. 90% of them will already want to help.
  • It’s all about getting that first talk. Once you have that done, you can use it to get the second and the third and…


  • Start writing with lots of time. Literally, at least a month out.
  • The #1 tip: If you have bullet lists, break each bullet point up into an individual slide.
  • If you do have lots of text on the same slide, use the appear animation to stagger the lines. Otherwise, people will read ahead and not listen to you (or worse, become bored).
  • There is no right number of slides. I’ve seen great speakers use anywhere from 20 slides to 280 slides for 45 minute slots.
  • Don’t start writing slides at the beginning of the talk, skip to the cool technical part you want to talk about. Get that section right and then build the rest of the talk around that.
  • When writing, I often sketch out 30-60 seconds of talking, then backtrack and create the slides for that. Then I do that part again with the slides, adjust or scrap, then write the next 30-60 seconds of talking. Repeat until done.
  • It’s good to have an About Me intro but keep it under 45 seconds.
  • Anticipate the questions your audience will have at any given moment in a talk and then address them immediately. If you don’t, they’ll stop listening to what you’re saying until its question time while they mule this over or wait for you to address it.
  • Don’t ever be afraid to rewrite but don’t make major rewrites in the days leading up to the conference, you will forget and goof them.
  • Your talk doesn’t need to have a story, but build it like one. It should have a lead-in, build up, a climax and a resolution. Emotion has a place, even in technical talks.
  • If you’re having trouble finding a voice, pick speakers you like and imitate them until you find one that feels comfortable. That’ll put you in the right area, then refine it until you find yours. This doesn’t have to be a technical speaker: in fact, I’d recommend stand-up comedians. That’s not to say it has to be funny, but these are folks with the stagecraft to keep an audience enraptured for hours with almost nothing but talking. You can learn a lot from them.
  • Gimmicks can lend spice to a talk but don’t over use them.
  • The only good animation is the “appear” animation. Don’t use animated slide transitions and don’t let meme GIFs loop indefinitely.

Talk Formats

  • Don’t do live demos. These are high risk, high reward propositions. If it goes smoothly and it’s genuinely impressive, you might look amazing. That said, almost every live demo will crash and burn horribly. Including yours.
  • If you do go this route, remember: it will also likely take more than network communication to genuinely impress the audience.
  • Likewise, live coding is a universally bad idea. Even if it goes perfectly (and it won’t), the speed at which you can deliver is severely reduced. Even amazing developers are boring after 30 minutes of typing at a podium.
  • Instead, consider making a screen recording and embedding it in your presentation. This can fail too but the odds are much lower. You can also speed this up, pause it, rewind it, etc and it leaves you more free to talk and manage your time without fear.
  • Never count on an internet connection. No, not even with speaker-only wifi. No, not even tethering on your phone. Never. Count. On. Internet.

The Weeks Before Your Talk

  • Practice. Practice Practice practice.
  • Always back up your presentation twice: a USB stick that you carry with you and and online (email, Google Drive, Dropbox). Don’t forget the additional dependencies like fonts, movies, etc.
  • Always ask about the projector connection beforehand. Be prepared. When in doubt, prepare for VGA. The only place this might not be true is development offices: many are populated exclusively by Mac users and may not have a VGA adapter on hand.
  • If you’re a Mac user, bring your own connectors. Many conferences have them, but many don’t or have a limited supply.
  • Don’t get drunk the night before your talk. Seriously, be a professional. Conference culture features a lot of drinking but attendees paid good money to see you speak so don’t show up with a hangover. Even if you’re in the afternoon slot, save the booze for the post-talk celebration.
  • Even a cheap remote is worth its weight in gold. Seriously, don’t get on stage without a remote, it’s incredibly freeing.
  • When practicing, don’t just stare at your monitor since this will become a bad habit when you present. I once suggested giving your talk to a stuffed animal since you can make eye contact with it; silly as it sounds, an elePHPant makes a great reviewer.
  • Controlling your body language is important. Practice your talk standing up and work hard on creating a firm posture: it looks good to the audience but more importantly, it keeps you calm and projects your voice. Fidgeting will make you nervous, unsteady and distract the audience.
  • You’re going to be standing for almost an hour and talking, which can be a surprisingly physical strain. Practice so you’re ready for this. A lot of the exhaustion can be bad breathing techniques, which you can work on.
  • When practicing, you’ll often go over time a few minutes. That’s usually okay. When giving your talk, you’ll probably speed up a bit or not backtrack as much in practice, so it’s going to go quicker. Eventually, you’ll find out what that magic number is and be able to plan accordingly.
  • Until then, prep carefully, don’t plan too much material and think about your pacing and what you can cut or extend if necessary. Always build in an escape hatch or two.
  • Practice more!

The Day of Your Talk

  • Sleep well. Have a decent breakfast, nothing too crazy.
  • Practice your entire talk the morning of the conference if time allows.
  • Resist the temptation to tweak anything else with your slides, it’ll just disturb your practice. It’s time, you have to play it as it lies.
  • Dress accordingly: Comfortable shoes are a must. Think about how you’ll look in the room: If it’s dim or darkened, don’t wear all black since you’ll look like a floating head. If you’re standing in front of a colored backdrop, don’t wear something that blends in (like a red shirt in front of red stage curtains).
  • Show up early. If your conference has a room monitor or an assigned volunteer for you, check in with them, learn the their name. If the crap hits the fan, these folks can save your bacon.
  • Always attend sound check if you can. Find these problems early.
  • See if you can get a peek at the room or stage first. Pace it, see how it feels. Set your laptop up somewhere and see if you can see your slides comfortably.
  • It might be worth skipping the talk in the slot ahead of yours and find a quiet corner to review your slides right before. This helped me a lot when I was starting out.
  • Not to sound like your parents on a car trip, but use the bathroom first. Yes, even if you don’t think you have to.
  • If this is your first talk, it almost seems tradition that you’re going to come down with a cold right before hand. Take something with minimal side effects (acetaminophen or paracetamol) or suck a cough drop. If you’re congested, nose spray is the best thing but it doesn’t kick in until 5-10 minutes later so don’t use it just before going on stage. Whatever you’ve got to do, do it.
  • Hand-mics take training to use well, so skip them in favor of anything else if possible. Face mics or lapel mics are the best but even a fixed podium mic can be better.

The Moments Beforehand

  • Once the previous speaker is totally done, wait for them to clear the podium and then setup ASAP. If the speaker is taking a little while and is answering private questions, give them a minute before heading to the podium. They’ll usually see you standing there with your bag and take the hint, but if they don’t, it’s okay to ask politely if you can go ahead and setup.
  • Soundcheck everything real quick and check the space. Check you can see your laptop clearly from where you want to stand. Check your remote batteries.
  • Silence your phone and dump it in your bag. Otherwise, you’re going to get a tweet notifications during the talk and folks will start tweeting at you, just to troll you.
  • If you’re feeling good, maybe do some pre-show audience particpation. Talk to folks in the first row, goof off a bit. I used to play nyan.cat on the big screen to loosen everyone up.
  • Breathe and relax. These are often the scarest moments but it’s going to be okay.

Giving Your Talk

  • The number one thing new speakers goof is looking at the big screen. Look at your laptop. Look at the stage monitor. Look at the audience. Never, ever look at the big screen. Yes, I know it’s big and shiny. Don’t look at it. You’ll twist and turn, ignore your audience, etc. It’s bad.
  • Likewise, don’t use your laser pointer. If there’s something on a slide you want to highlight, add that to your slides as an arrow or highlight or fade out surrounding text. Laser pointers tremble, distract and can even make the audience vaguely nauseous.
  • Don’t go too fast. You’re likely going to freak out a bit the first time and go too fast. I’m infamous for doing this from the early days of my career. Time dilates on stage, what feels like an eternity on stage will often prove to only be a bare second on the video playback. Speak clearly, relax.
  • Most room monitors will give you a signal at important time intervals: usually 15, 10, 5 and 1 minutes to go. Give them a little nod or thumbs up to confirm you saw. Don’t freak out at the signal. Trust in your training, hold your ground and hold your pace.
  • In tech, it’s common to see folks poking at their phones or laptops while you’re speaking. It’s not disrepect or boredom, we’re just multitasking geeks. Often those folks poking at their phones are sending out tweets about how awesome you are.
  • Look at the audience when speaking. Consider all parts of the room. Pick a few faces here and there and rotate between them every couple of minutes. Don’t go creepy-stare-face but look for friends or people into it, use them for support.
  • Consider the local culture. At the risk of stereotyping, crowds have different vibes depending on where you go: the British laugh a lot, even when you’re not telling a joke so plan for it. The Dutch are more restrained but don’t do audience participation. Adapt accordingly.

Handling Questions

  • Always repeat the question to ensure you understand it, and for both the recording and others in the room. This is a hard one to remember but it reflects well on your polish.
  • Check your room monitor for how much time is allowed for questions (if any). If there’s no room monitor, check the time discreetly.
  • The knowledge level in the room can vary enormously. Even beginner questions deserve your respect. Never use your position to denigrate someone.
  • There’s a chance you’re going to get “pointed” questions, which are often not questions but argumentative attendees or someone looking to take a whack at you. These often come with elaborate backstories or a particular tone or a “don’t you think…”.
  • Don’t ever take the bait on these, the moment you become angered, you’ve lost control of the situation. Instead, try to answer factually and calmly. Always take the high road. Often, there’s a veiled barb or underlying question, it can be helpful to address that head on. If you can’t resolve the question directly, offer to talk to the attendee afterwards. “Hmm, well, come talk to me afterwards” can get you out of almost any sticky situation.
  • If you get a really advanced or tricky question that you don’t know the answer to, don’t BS it. People can smell it and someone might call you on it. Again, you can get really far with: “Hmm, that’s a good one, I’m not sure. Come talk to me afterwards and we’ll see if we can figure it out.” If someone from the audience calls out an answer, always be supportive and thank them if it sounds legit: “Oh, good one, that might work”.

After Your Talk

  • Say thank you, point folks to your joind.in link again with your final slide.
  • Remember to switch off your mic!
  • People are going to come up to the podium to ask more questions. Say hi, be inviting and polite to them.
  • While you’re doing the private questions and riding the endorphin rush, pack up your stuff and clear the podium ASAP. The other speaker will likely be fidgeting and ready to get setup almost immediately. Take the remaining questions off to the side or out in the hall.
  • Double check you’ve got everything (I always forget my remote’s sheath) and leave the mic for the next person or hand it over to the room monitor.
  • Handle all of the private questions before disappearing. If someone is taking up too much time, politely give them a hint or just give a gentle acknowledgement to the next person in line. Try to at least hear everyone fairly quickly, since folks will often head off to the next talk. You can always make an agreement to meet again later with folks who have larger issues. Triage.
  • Have business cards within easy reach.
  • Don’t just leave the conference now that your talk is done. Stick around, meet folks, answer questions. Part of the experience people pay for is getting to hob nob with speakers, network and talk to you in hallways and socials. Remember, that’s what you were flown in for. Be professional. Hiding out to relax for a slot after your talk is okay but blowing the conference immediately after your talk is prima donna BS.

Social Media Followup

  • Post your slides to Slideshare/Speakerdeck/Wherever and tweet them on the event’s hashtag. It’s acceptable to do this via the joind.in page so you often get more feedback.
  • Odds are, you won’t be happy with your performance. That’s okay. It means you still have potential to become a better speaker. Honestly, I’ve had talks I felt were bombs that the audience was still satisfied with. The ultimate metric here is how you feel about things and if you communicated your message.
  • Don’t freak out and start checking your reviews immediately. Give it some time and let a few trickle in. Take them seriously, try to improve whatever folks mention. Don’t post defensive comments.
  • Likewise, reviews tend to be dominated by folks who either loved your talk or hated it. Rarely do you get both camps under one roof, so keep it in mind. Often a bad talk on joind.in simply gets the “crickets” treatment (though as a new speaker you’ll often have smaller rooms and thus fewer reviews). If you had a well attended talk but got noticeably fewer reviews than other talks at the conference… you may have some soul searching to do.
  • Vicious reviews can happen. They’re designed to hurt the most but sometimes they contain an element of truth. Take something constructive away if you can, but ultimately, screw those haters.

Hanging Out in Hallways

  • Once you’ve given your talk, folks will randomly ask you questions all the time. Handle them with respect (unless you’re, you know, using the bathroom or something).
  • Many conferences have separate badges for speakers. These typically draw attention to you and people want to ask what you’re speaking about, etc. This can be great for networking or breaking the ice but you can also just flip the badge around backwards if you’d like to have a normal conversation.

The Social

  • You’ll get more technical questions at the social so be ready. Also, a fair number of people will just want to come up and meet you, shake your hand, etc. Always be willing to interrupt what you’re doing and shake someone’s hand because it’s going to happen.
  • Don’t hang out with just the cool speaker crowd, make an effort to meet random folks. Also, treat everyone with respect and assume they’re smarter than you; you never know when someone you casually met is actually hugely famous (this has happened to be a few times).
  • If someone is monopolizing your time or making you feel uncomfortable, you can always excuse yourself to get another drink or take a bathroom break. (I’ve only had to do this twice in practice so if I’ve ever done this at a conference, please don’t think I was avoiding you).
  • Folks will often offer to treat you to free drinks, so be gracious but judicious in accepting. Being a speaker doesn’t entitle you to anything.
  • Take the time to find and thank the organizers. They work hard and do appreciate this.
  • Okay, now you can get a little drunk.

The Less Than Glamorous Tips

  • Your nose might start running during the talk. If so, take the time to turn away from the mic and wipe it. Nothing is worse than a speaker with the sniffles, especially with a face mic.
  • Bringing tissues, cough drops and even nose spray is often a very good idea. Always keep an open tissue in your back pocket or on the podium. Cough drops are also a surprisingly good ice breaker with other speakers.
  • Stage lights can be blinding. They’ll also make your eyes water and your nose run even more. Try to get used to them during sound check since this is the only way you can practice, short of staring into the heat of a thousand suns. Before the talk, when people are filing in, take note of where they start to sit. This way, if you really do become blinded, you can still pretend to make eye contact with the audience.
  • Con Flu is a real thing and you’re going to be shaking a lot of hands. Washing yours regularly might reduce your chances of getting sick afterwards.

Having spent the previous weekend at LaraconEU, I wanted to jot my thoughts down about the conference, particularly some of the upcoming features unveiled by Taylor Otwell (the framework’s BDFL). To clarify, I’ve never used Laravel, have no plans to do so right now and all of these features are still in active development. I just want to talk about technical and community impressions so take everything you read with a grain of salt.

New directory structure

The next big Laravel release is going to ship with less of a Rails-inspired structure (think: app/models, app/controllers, or ZF1) and will instead move to a PSR-4 structure. This looks great for 2 reasons: first, it brings the framework more in line with existing community standards (and tooling). Second, I believe this change will encourage devs to design their objects more freely, rather than try to fit everything into the pre-labeled types of objects.

Taylor is also shipping a plugin that will support the old directory structure seamlessly, so you can go ahead and upgrade to the other stuff without letting this change hold you back.


One of the most controversial parts of Laravel are the Facades, essentially static shortcuts to objects in the DI layer. Stealing an example from the docs, you might have a controller like this:

class PageController extends BaseController {
    public function showStuff()
        return View::make('some.template', []);

In this case, the View object is the Facade. Being static makes it convenient but harder to test and isolate. While there’s some interesting stuff going on behind the scenes to make it somewhat testable, the new version of Laravel renders the point moot by adding autowiring IoC to more objects, like controllers. This lets us rewrite the above example to:

class PageController extends BaseController {
    public function showStuff(View $view)
        return $view->make('some.template', []);

This seems like a small change but the effect is profound. Our dependencies are clearer and we can mock them very easily. This new feature preserves the ease of use, makes room for better OO, and does it without breaking BC. Nice.

I’m not a huge fan of autowiring IoC myself but considering the tradeoffs, I think this is a great change. In fact, I’d go far as to say this is the killer feature for the next version and would highly recommend Laravel devs upgrade just to get access to this (when it’s deemed stable, of course).

Custom Requests

The most interesting feature was the new customs Request classes. Essentially, this let you create typed HTTP requests with custom validation and authorization rules that run before allowing access to the controller.

    class UserController extends BaseController {
        public function createUser(CreateUserRequest $request)
            // do stuff

In the example above, if the HTTP request is a POST, the $request is already prefilled and validated before ever reaching the controller, cleaning up the code a bit. The custom Request classes can be generated with an artisan command to save some boilerplate setup.

Once you see it in action, it’s pretty clear this is an integrated Command Bus, which is pretty fascinating. If you know me, I’m bonkers about command bus service layers and this is the first time I’ve seen a framework take an opinionated stance in that direction so I consider this a plus.

At the same time, there were unresolved questions about this feature to me. Can I easily reuse this in CLI scripts to trigger the same actions? How extensive is the coupling to Laravel’s auth and validation libraries? Isn’t there a lot of state flying around with request method dependent behavior? Shawn McCool had some interesting ideas about this so I’m reserving judgement until I see the final feature.

Regardless, I can’t help but feel it’s a really cool to see a framework take a step like this, even if I have quibbles about implementation. Again, this seems like a measured tradeoff between ease-of-use and best practices.


One of the coolest things at the entire conference was the upcoming Illuminate\Contracts repo, which is a repository of only key Laravel interfaces. This opens the door to a lot of standalone implementations and hopefully better architecture overall. This is something I’m 100% behind and hope to see more frameworks do in the future.

One of the new interfaces demoed was a Filesystem, with the first adapter backed by the Flysystem library. I think this is also fantastic for several reasons: OO filesystem access makes testing and decoration easier, Flysystem is a great library that deserves more attention and finally, this might help Frank de Jonge eventually become more famous than Scott Wilcox.


This is a new social login library that’s coming with the next version. The version demoed used a static facade which I thought was unfortunate, but the functionality looked great. The application had a github backed login with literally less than 10 lines of code.


Looking at the decisions Laravel is making, I feel it’s moving in a good direction, while preserving a preference for leverage over abstraction. And you know what? That’s okay.

Generally, the audience felt open and willing to discuss challenging subjects. Topics like TDD and service layers were regularly discussed in the halls and I wish I’d had more time to mingle and meet folks. The level was mixed but folks were hungry to learn more. It wasn’t perfect, there were some awkward moments and not everyone was on board with everything. Nonetheless, there was definitely a feeling of going forward.

I’d like to give a shout out to some of the newer speakers like Kayla Daniels for an amazing first talk fighting the good fight, Ben Corlett who should speak at more conferences, Erika Heidi the most improved speaker every time I see her, the fine speaker and gentleman Kirk Bushell and Matt Stauffer whose delivery will likely give me a run for my money soon.

I want to compliment the organizers for putting on a great conference. They’re friends of mine, so I have an obvious bias, but I thought everything from the food to the schedule to the venue was great.

There are some other possible reasons for this positive impression, it’s no secret my step up from dark horse speaker to closing keynote garnered me a lot of love. Still, I’d like to believe it’s because the Laravel community is starting to shed its reputation as a framework for beginners and making moves to stand as a valued member of the wider community; something should all welcome.